...remember that time....

....that I was going to have an ovary removed?  True story.  It was last Friday.  I have known that I needed to have this done for about two months.  I put it off as long as I felt I could, and as long as my surgeon would let me.  So, last Friday, with my hubby and mother in tow....we waited - over three hours while the surgeon was running behind.  I remember the tears of relief that rolled down my face as they administered some pain meds for the massive headache I had and being wheeled back to the Operating Room.  I vaguely recall the starburst of lights overhead in the OR - but other than that the next thing I remember is the nurse in Recovery stating that I was staying overnight - to which I clearly recall becoming somewhat belligerent yelling that I was going home and sleeping in my own bed.

Then....I remember being in a room, and Jeff and my mom telling me that I still had both ovaries, because there was not a mass on my ovary.  At this point, I might have become a bit more belligerent.  However, Mom and Jeff are the only ones who could attest to that.  I went through cancer screenings, ultrasounds and the decision making process about how to handle this procedure....leave the ovary, or take it.  Only to find out....there was no mass.  There was at one point...but not last Friday.

I have been irritated about many things.  That I am sore and tired for no particular reason.  That we didn't do a physical examination before surgery.  That I had a dream two weeks before the procedures that there was no mass.  That I was scared about cancer and other things that I didn't need to be for weeks.  That I am going to pay a small fortune (think family vacation) for this procedure.

And I have these thoughts have rotated, marinated and rolled around in my head.  And it has taken me almost a week....but this is where I am.

I don't have cancer.  I don't have a mass.  And there could be worse ways for this to have turned out.  There are plenty of people who don't have great stories about no masses and generally good health.  It's all good, and I'll take it.